Posts

Jesus give me strength (my prayer for 2019)

     Jesus give me strength. Strength to love others when they don't love me. Strength to care about people's feelings instead of speaking on every thought that crosses my mind. Jesus give me the strength to make good decisions. Jesus give me the strength to forgive others and myself. Jesus give me the strength to love myself even if I'm not "perfect" by the world's definition.. give me the strength to know I am created in your image. Jesus give me the strength to lead when I want to follow. Jesus give me the strength to keep my eyes on you, always. Jesus give me the strength to have grace on myself and more importantly others. Jesus give me the strength to relentlessly pursue you. Jesus give me the strength to keep dreaming big even when the world tells you to dream small. Jesus give me the strength to tell the devil he can no longer be involved in any part of my thinking, lifestyle or decisions. Jesus give me the strength to respect myself and others. Jesus ...
Post a Comment
Read more

too much, or not enough?

     Hi, my name is Ella, the Queen of overthinking. Overthinking what people say, what people think, what to do, how to do it, where to go... and when, but on the other hand, I'm the Queen of let's just do it. Yes, let's just go to a really sketchy part of Rockford and block our parents from our story... ;) Yes let's go adventure at Rock-cut and almost die... again ;) Sometimes I think WAYYYYY too much, and sometimes I don't think at all (my parents can attest to that), But what is a healthy balance? No really, what is a healthy balance between thinking too much and not thinking at all.       If I never thought at all I'm sure I would be dead right now. If I constantly thought too much I would be living in a bubble of what if. What happens when you find that perfect balance? If you find it let me know, but here are my thoughts.     Constantly overthinking a situation, what people say, or have done may be due to low co...
Post a Comment
Read more

Insecurity.

   What's up homies. I wanted to write again soooo here I am. I had three things I wanted to write about 1. Confidence and 2. Insecurity..... oxymorons I know.  The last idea I had was simply what's been going down in the life of Ella this year... I decided on number 2. ;)      What is insecurity? The dictionary says insecurity is " uncertainty or anxiety about oneself; lack of confidence. The synonyms are self-doubt, diffidence, unassertiveness, timidity, uncertainty, nervousness, inhibition".       Why do we get insecure? Honestly, I am constantly insecure. Insecurity is a HUGE struggle for me. So no, I am not just this little, confident, firecracker, girl, who has the opportunity to sing on stage. I am just going, to be honest with myself and whoever is reading this. If you tell yourself "I am not enough, they are better, prettier, smarter, and more talented than me." you will begin to believe that. What you te...
Post a Comment
Read more

the good in change.

    Hello to the few people who are going to read this. SO in this past season of my life, I've been going through more than I thought I would, and if you know me well, you know I kind of hate change. Why do you hate change, Ella? Change is unfamiliar, uncomfortable, and not what you are used to. I love familiar, comfortable and routine. Am I crazy? I loved coming home to the same room I've slept in for 13 years of my life, I loved having YTH every single Wednesday, I loved having tons of friends at school. I loved what I knew, and I knew what I loved.     My question is if we never change, will we ever grow? If we stay with what is comfortable, will we ever step outside our comfort zone? If we always stick to a routine, will we ever adventure? I don't want to be the person who realizes everything is changing, yet won't adapt to change, won't embrace the good in change. How can we live in a world that is constantly changing and be too stubborn a...
Post a Comment
Read more

Peace over me, Peace over me

        Well Hey there. it's been a hot minute. What has been going on in my life... A LOT actually. This season I've been in has been me learning how to surrender everything to Jesus. How do you do so? I like to look at my problems and then have an emotional breakdown hahaha.... turns out there is a better way to go about that. I tend to look at all my problems and then try to fix them myself and I quickly learn little ole me cant conquer everything by myself. To me surrendering everything to Jesus is just basically scratching everything you know and saying my life is yours, I can't do it on my own in fact I don't want to do it on my own. I often times find myself asking God please fix this, please fix that and he's like chill dude I know what I'm doing. Me being me I tend to want everything right away when in reality if we got everything we thought we needed or wanted right away how different would our lives be? Onc...
Post a Comment
Read more

Comparison.

      Wow. It's been quite awhile since I last posted. I woke up this morning and had the urge to write something, but I wasn't sure what. This whole month or I'd even say year I've just been telling myself beauty comes within, you are beloved, you are a child of God, you are made perfect in his eyes, But do I believe it? I would tell myself well maybe if I stopped wearing makeup I would have more self-confidence, or if only I was skinnier I'd be prettier. I'd look at myself and say no one will want to be your friend if you look like this, no one will think you're beautiful if you look like this. WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY?! YES I know that's not true and it's really easy for me to preach to myself on why that's not true, but yet I still feel not good enough, because I'd look at other people and compare myself to them.  Comparison rots the bones. Why do we look at someone and instantly wish we looked like them or had their talents etc...
Post a Comment
Read more

Being fearless in the pursuit of what sets your soul on fire.

Image
  We all have things we love to do. Right? So why are we so scared to go after and achieve our dreams? What will people think, will I fail, am I good enough, will I look stupid? If you fail try again! Don't let one failed attempt stop you from going after your dreams. What will people think is a big one. This goes along with insecurity. Why do we worry so much about what others think? If you are doing something that sets your soul on fire, that makes you happy than DON'T acknowledge the hate. Don't let people get in your head. What you meditate on is what you believe and what you believe is what you become. Have confidence in yourself, yet stay humble.     "Your thoughts are the determining factor as to whose mold you are conformed to. Control your thoughts and you control the direction of your life." -Charles Stanley      My whole life I've loved to sing. My whole life I've gone to church. But they have always been separate.     ...
1 comment
Read more